Various people speak about how they came to their misinformed views about gayness, their religious beliefs, their fears that friends will abandon them after finding out about their child's homosexuality, and their anxieties about AIDS. Often people find similar solutions to their problems, and sometimes different ones, but in all cases the message is that understanding, love, and a need to own up to, and dispense with, ignorant homophobic attitudes can bring families back together in a wholesome and nurturing manner. Frank, informed, and filled with insights and practical suggestions, Beyond Acceptance is a fine addition to the literature on homophobia and families. --Michael Bronski

With frank interviews and conversations, we are let in on the angst, the suffering, the fears and disappointments from parents. It covers many aspects of our lives. Most often, the burning question from parents is "what did I do wrong?" Religion, health, acceptance etc....all the way to "should the neighbours know?

This book is honestly written from the hearts of the writers, parents who have been through all of that and more. We learn of how they cope or didn't. The journeys they have taken and what the effects are with a lesbian/gay in the family unit. A must read, not just for parents, but also for lesbians and gays, and their siblings. And for everyone else too - I recommend this book. It creates understanding, not answers, through the conversations with various people. In all, it is almost like sitting in a crowd and listening in on an interesting discussion or conversation and gleaning knowledge and understanding!!

There is an earlier editon from 1990. Try to get the lastest one, I think 1996/7, with updates on issues like AIDS etc...

Buy or borrow this book, read it again and again. Pass it on. For everyone.

Note: While the book draws from the experiences of predominantly caucasian, middle-class families, the parents were from all across the country and from various religious backgrounds, i.e. Jewish, Christian, Catholic, agnostic, etc.

The book covers an amazing array of subjects including: Issues regarding your partner and the difficulties and triumphs in bringing partners into the family, the grandparents and extended family, the church, the sense of loss experienced by parents when their expectations for their gay child changes, the paradox of the general acceptance of married heterosexuals who don't have children versus gay committed, monogamous relationships, the fact gays can lead happy and full lives, gays in the military, about whether gayness is caused by nature or nurture or both, about whether being gay is a mental illness, about the removal of homosexuality from the APA's list of mental illnesses, about the failure of all forms of "treatment," and the list goes on . . .

I also enjoyed and drew wisdom from the Bernstein book, _Straight Parents, Gay Children: Inspiring Families to Live Honestly and With Greater Understanding_, but found _Beyond Acceptance_ to be better organized.